PTF Parent Up Speaker Series Focuses on Community Wellness and Connection

Steve Pemberton (left) and Dolly Chugh were the first two PTF Parent Up speakers of 2020-2021.

By Ryan Wood

St. Margaret’s Parent Teacher Fellowship arranged a trio of compelling presenters as part of the 2020-2021 Parent Up Speaker Series, with a focus on “community wellness and connection” while also exploring St. Margaret’s school-wide goal of expanding diversity, equity and inclusion work.

As this school year’s speakers have participated remotely, school leaders brainstormed compelling ways to share their stories. That has led to hosted Q&As, student panels, and multimedia presentations that bring the speakers’ messages to life.

Here is a look at the highlights from the first two speakers of the 2020-2021 school year, and a look ahead of the upcoming speaker that rounds out the year.

Dr. Dolly Chugh

The series kicked off in October with Dr. Dolly Chugh, award-winning psychologist and author of The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias. 

Dr. Chugh spoke to the St. Margaret’s parent community in a Q&A hosted by Victor Cota, St. Margaret’s director of equity and inclusion. The next day, she spoke to Upper School students in a conversation with Mr. Cota and St. Margaret’s seniors Kaelyn Dunnell from the Tartan Inclusivity and Diversity Education (TIDE) leadership group and Nicholas Jacome from Associated Student Body. 

In entertaining and insightful conversations, Dr. Chugh spoke of her work striving to be “good-ish” people in the world, noting that most of us strive to be “good” people but “good-ish is not worse than good. We are people with a growth mindset, who view ourselves as a work in progress and always learning. If you take that definition, good-ish is a higher standard than good.”

Dr. Chugh spoke of our subconscious mind at work in everyday life, mentioning how we often forget mundane tasks or even the drive home from school, because our brain can operate in autopilot. 
“That’s how our mind is built, and that’s good,” Dr. Chugh said. “But it also means that all that unconscious work is doing things you’re unaware of.”

This subconscious bias can sometimes influence social settings, including situations with people of different races and genders. Dr. Chugh, for example, did not notice that she calls on males more than females in her class until a teaching assistant kept track of the interactions and reported them back to her.

Dr. Chugh encouraged people to activate their growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset, to start noticing shortcomings and audit the environment you live in and the media you consume. 

Steve Pemberton

In a moving presentation that was part a reflection of identity, a call for service and an inspiring personal story of resilience, the series continued in January with Steve Pemberton and his message to “let our life be a lighthouse” in the service of others.

Mr. Pemberton is the Chief People Officer of Workhuman and the best-selling author of his memoir A Chance in the World, which was adapted into a major motion picture. He tells the story of growing up in foster care, where he was once told he would not have “a chance in the world” to succeed due to his circumstances. His determination to better his life was met by the kindness of everyday citizens, including his beloved teachers, who offered their helping hand and affirmed his fight. He call these people his “lighthouses” and expanded on the metaphor of people as lighthouses and how we can serve as one ourselves.

“The lighthouse is the most selfless structure ever constructed, because it exists only to serve others,” Pemberton said.

Lighthouses turn doubts into destinations, and has “an uncompromising belief in your ability to find safe harbor and its own ability to guide you” – something he thinks about when reflecting on mentors who helped him rise out of foster care and into Boston College, where he matriculated after high school.

“The most powerful lighthouses in the world are the human ones,” Pemberton said. “We all have the opportunity to let our life be the lighthouse.”

Mr. Pemberton led a presentation to parents, and also took part in a Q&A with Upper School students Molly Green and Evan Lee which was played in Upper School and Middle School advisory.

Up Next: Dr. Wendy Mogel

Dr. Mogel will round out this year’s Parent Up Speaker Series on March 5. She is a clinical psychologist and New York Times best-selling author who serves on the scientific advisory board of Parents Magazine and is frequently invited to weigh in on issues of the day by national and international media. Her 2008 book The Blessing of a Skinned Knee is an “impassioned, lyrical and eminently practical...a read treasure.” Her second release, The Blessing of a B Minus, addresses the challenge of parenting teenagers in a culture of increasing anxiety. Her latest book, Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say and How to Say it, and When to Listen, offers guidance for communicating with children across childhood and adolescence and explains how changes in tone and demeanor can transform the relationship between parent and child.

The Parent Up Speaker Series is funded through a generous PTF grant, and speakers are selected by PTF leaders in conjunction with St. Margaret’s school leaders. This year’s Parent Up Speaker Series committee includes PTF President Dana Melsom, Parent Up Speakers Series Chair Kristen Olosky, Parent Up Speaker Series assistant Carrie Quintanar, St. Margaret’s Assistant Head of School for Strategic Initiatives Ryan Dahlem, Director of Equity and Inclusion Mr. Cota and PTF Office Manager Beth Adamany.

To view the PTF Parent Up Speaker Series presentations by Dr. Chugh and Mr. Pemberton, visit the PTF Parent Up Speaker Series resource tile on mySMES.